Monday, January 5th, 2004 [edit]
Jessica and I are having a hard time seeing eye-to-eye on some wedding-related issues.
This isn’t a plea for help or an invitation for you tell me that this is what married life is all about. This is a chance for you to make a difference. Make yourself be heard. Let’s settle this thing!
Issue #1: Seating Arrangements
Jessica is of the opinion that once it is determined who will be coming to the wedding, a seating chart must be made. I am told it is necessary, but I am resisting.
Jessica’s stance revolves around social etiquette and peace-keeping. Mainly, if Distant Relative A has a dislike of Close Friend B, then A and B shall be seated as far away from one another as possible. This is designed to maintain order at all times. This is intended to keep A from throwing a glass at B, or for B to refrain from hitting on A’s underage daughter.
Since we don’t have any (known) feuds like those mentioned above, the second prong in her attack is guest comfort. If Couple C doesn’t know anyone at the wedding party, save for the Bride or Groom, who will they sit with? Jessica wants to place these people with others of similar interests, backgrounds, etc. so that the conversation will flow into the evening.
It is a system of order. A place for everything and everything in it’s place.
I, however, disagree with the concept of a seating order for many reasons.
First, I should state that I think a seating order is required for the head table and immediate family. I’ve seen setups where there are a few reserved tables with place settings that include name tags. This is fine with me. This is probably needed.
But, it’s the rest of the people that I’m talking about here. Let them sit where they want. It’s all about social networks. Why would Distant Relative A who has a dislike of Close Friend B choose to sit next to B? The argument presented to me was that if they were the last two people to come in, then they would have no choice, but I call bullshit on that. I don’t believe that for a second.
Everyone that is worthy of a wedding invitation to my wedding is probably stubborn enough to stand throughout the reception than sit next to a hated rival.
And what about the possibility of meeting new people? If I group people according to how I think they would like to be seated, aren’t I tempting fate? How do I know I’m not keeping people, who are meant to be together, apart?
As God is my witness, I will not bear the blame for one wedding day non-hookup. I will not.
Issue #2: Table Centerpieces
Jessica believes these should have the pomp and circumstance of a Macy’s Day parade. I disagree.
The second issue was added mainly so the fight against a seating arrangement would seem like it was part of a larger grouping. The centerpiece issue doesn’t really bother me that much. I’d be willing to give that one up completely if I don’t have to make a chart.
All content
Comments:
Well, I’m going to have to agree with Jason on this one, sorry Jessica. Maybe it’s just being a guy, but besides the main table and close family, it shouldn’t matter where everyone else sits. Just let people where they feel comfortable. I mean, what if you have a chart and place someone in the corner of the room and they don’t like sitting in the corner? But because it was felt they’d have a great time sitting there with those around them they were placed there. Anyway, that’s the side I’m taking.
Good luck you two. Love, Austin
At this time I would like to enter my first piece of evidence at this time. http://modernbride.com/…
All evidence introduced with intent to sway judgement must fall under scrutiny. This ‘article’ that you cite is in a bridal magazine. It is written by a woman who makes her living as a writer for the wedding industry.
I cast this evidence aside as tainted. The vote stands at 1-0.
Well there are several points of view here, None of them mine.
ok, I guess that last bit fails to measure up. I figure Jason has a point in that people will sit where they want to and thinks that things will work themselves out.
However, I can recognize the concern Jess has with wanting an arrangement. She is a very ordered and plan-oreiented person.
That being said, if there is to be a seeating a arrangement, let me add these criteria to give everyone focus of what a seating arrangement entails. I can only sit in corners that way I can be sure no-one is going to come up from behind me and “get me.” Also, I cannot sit at a table with any being 7 years old or younger: I can feel their little eyes on me, silently judging me. Also, I can volunteer to be the Close friend B, and it can say so on the name thing. And we all know what dangers close friend B is capable of in relation to “A,” from Jason’s post above.
Ben, I didn’t want to give it away, but you are ‘Close Friend B’. Sorry you had to hear it this way.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have to declare this contest as over. Dead in the water! A clear winner!
Last night, Jessica and I met with a caterer (very nice, strong possibility) and she outlined all sorts of reasons why it was a bad plan to have a seating chart for everyone and everything. She even softened my suggestion to put namecards at the main tables.
She made the counter-suggestion of just a few ‘Reserved’ signs. Then, she and I hugged in a tender moment. It was beautiful.
So since when did all of you become the bride? And trust me at the caterers it happened nothing like that and also just because you see this as being something silly and playful its something very serious and important to me. (Did taking the bitchy bride angle get me any points, even though I made plenty of good legitimate points, the groom thinks he plays both defendant and Judge) I am the BRIDE!!!!!!!
You think it’s painful for you to read that last comment? I have to live with these sorts of monologues everyday.
I am the GROOM!!!!!!
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